Between colors and shadows: a conversation with Fabian Aerts

Can you tell us about your background?

When I was young, I didn't really know what to study, so I decided to try marketing. In my head, marketing was all about advertising concepts, but in fact it was more accounting and market research, absolutely not the creative work I was expecting! I started to get very bored there, but luckily I had a friend sitting next to me who drew very well. His work impressed me a lot, and I started doodling on my own too. I wasn't very good at first, but as I pushed on, I started to improve. One day, one of my teachers grabbed my drawing, looked at it, and asked me what I was doing in this classroom, as it was clearly not my calling. That was the turning point, and four weeks later I left the course to study art.

I then went to ESA Saint-Luc, a famous art school here in Brussels. And I failed the first year. Not necessarily in the artistic fields, but more in the ancillary courses, art history, philosophy… I think it was also a period when I was too academic in my approach, and I didn’t really like the teachers there. I didn't want to repeat my year at this school, so I decided to go to another one, Le 75, which was much more human in scale and offered a wide variety of artistic fields, including sculpture, graphic design, photography… That’s where I discovered a passion for graphic design. It was also a time when I was partying a lot, especially acid parties and raves. I remember incredible nights always in beautiful places filled with art. There was also a strong relationship between sound and image. I used to be a DJ at that time, so I was close to the guys who created those events, and I quickly started to design their flyers. Somehow, everything was coming together.

When I left school, I started working as an AD, initially for print. But it was also the beginning of the web design era and I got a revelation when I discovered Adobe ImageReady and Flash (Macromedia) a bit later. I started to become obsessed with animation. It was a period where websites were very graphic and animation-oriented, so I began to move in this direction, which led me to get recruited as an Art Director by Emakina, one of the best interactive agencies in the country. Strong from this nearly 3 years experience, I started my own digital company with three of my colleagues, still in the web field. We called it 1MD (aka One Million Dollars) and quickly had a lot of success.

Is that when you started doing 3D?

I must have started before that, around 2000, but at first it was more of a hobby. I discovered FrenchCinema4D, a really nice forum where you could interact with professionals, get feedback, post WIPs… I immediately felt in love with C4D for its intuitive side, as I think a lot of people do.

How did you make the transition from web design to 3D and motion design?

I started mixing the two with Director (Macromedia), which had a 3D function. As I was improving my 3D skills, I started to get more and more involved in this type of work. Around 2010, Flash was killed by Adobe under Apple’s pressure, which was quite a blow since it was clearly one of the cores of our company, but at the same time, we were getting more and more requests for video projects, something that attracted me enormously, as I’m a movie addict since childhood. I began directing ads for the company, a part of my job I really enjoyed. I was becoming more and more a 3D/Live Action expert in the company, and a bit less involved in the web design part. In 2017, we sold the company by mutual agreement with the other founders. We had amazing years, but we felt it was about time to take our own routes. That’s when I started my freelance career.

How did you start working as a 3D artist? Was there a moment where you felt that it was something you could pursue as a career?

Around 2016, a friend of mine who saw what I was doing in 3D told me about Instagram and asked why I didn't show my work on it. I wasn't very keen on this at first, probably because I was afraid to show my work to the world, I don't know. In fact, at the beginning I had a hard time posting anything, wondering if it was worth it, how I could improve the image, if it was “good enough”. But I’ve overcome these fears and my account took off pretty quickly, with very positive feedback, and I racked up an incredible number of views given the size of my account at the time. It was also the beginning of the Motion Designers Community, which pushed me a lot. There was a very strong community spirit at the time. I was the little Belgian who was part of the French community, but it really helped me to find other people to share what I was doing, which wasn't really the case in Belgium.

By the way, do you feel close to other artists in Belgium? Is there a Belgian 3D community?

I often feel alone, even though I know there are things happening on the Dutch-speaking side. But there's no real community. The Motion Designer Community was the first time I've felt part of something, part of a movement, even if it started out as a small group. As with FrenchCinema4D, I really enjoyed being surrounded by other people who were doing the same thing as me, also really talented, and it was fun! It was a time of incredible sharing, and I really enjoyed it.

I don't remember seeing any of your work at the time, but I do have a very clear memory of Wrong, which made a big impression on me, both because of the scope of the project and because of its theme. Can you tell us a bit about this project?

It's the film I spent the most time on, probably because it was my first one. I remember a lot of editing, testing, discovering, and learning new tools. Wrong is important to me because it’s the product of my passion for cinema and 3D. It's really a love marriage between the two. As soon as I started directing my first commercials, I quickly got the urge to make short films. It's still something I'm angry about; I’ve got the feeling that I didn't follow through on that desire. But honestly, It was difficult to assemble a team, to ask people to sacrifice their free time for someone who had no experience in this field, and also with no budget. If I was going to convince people to work on my projects, I needed something to show. It’s one of the reasons why I decided to make Wrong in 3D.

I started thinking that if I didn't have any actors, I could just make some.

As for the theme, I've always been fascinated by the way people who have really hurt someone can look at themselves in the mirror afterward. How can there be people with dozens, hundreds of deaths on their conscience, yet manage to live at peace with themselves? I'm so sensitive to much more insignificant things that I can't understand how you can live with that without wanting to kill yourself.

Another thing I noticed in this film was the lighting. Although it's an important aspect in all your work, this one has a very polished, almost Harcourt look.

Wrong took me a long time to make, between two and a half and three years, so it's part of the state of mind I was in when I was making it. Back then, I really tried to do things like the "pros". Storyboards, styleframes, I wanted to make everything like a “real” director. I'm a fan of Lynch, Nolan, Scorsese, and what appealed to me in all those films was not only the narrative but also the aesthetics. And in all these films, the framing, the lighting is very well worked out. Light is an actor in itself.

It's a direction you didn't pursue afterwards, though.

Wrong could have been a live action short, and maybe that's where I have a regret. I used 3D characters as actors, rather than exploiting the medium's full potential. And it's a mistake I made again with Gone, one of the only films I don’t show online anymore. Shooting is something I miss a lot, because on the rare occasions where I've been able to direct actors I've really enjoyed it. And maybe that’s still something I'll come back to later, who knows?

What do you think is the specificity of 3D?

What I love about this medium is its ability to evolve continuously, to experiment. When I'm working, I never know what I'm going to do with it. I tinker, I test things, which is barely impossible with Live Action movie where everything is prepared and planned upfront. Every time, something clicks in my head and I think: "Ah, what if I animate that part?”. I usually start with one or two animated elements, and I always end with a full animated piece!

Is it always the result of experimentation in some way?

Exactly. When I'm making a new project, I have zero awareness of what I'm doing. That's another reason why Wrong took so long, because the subject evolved throughout the production process.

I have the impression that your practice has also evolved, that you've moved towards something more spontaneous and free.

It's true that classicism is reassuring in a way. Beautiful light, beautiful framing, everything in its place... I have the impression that I’m no longer at this stage in my work, because in the end this perfectionism stops you moving forward.

If you systematically question the things you do, you end up not doing them.

You get frustrated because you're stuck on the same things over and over. Posting things allows me to get rid of my thoughts, to move on.

I think that's the problem with a lot of filmmakers and 3D artists today, who end up with projects that are too ambitious and fail to materialize what they've started, even though they undoubtedly have very profound things to express. Technique will never be totally perfected, you can always do better, but what's the ultimate goal? To be able to produce a perfect work that represents exactly who you are, where every element has been thought through? For me, it's all the work you've done that represents you. It's impossible to put your whole being into a single work. Even if some works are more important than others for each artist, it's impossible to grasp who he was without seeing the whole of what he did.

What are your influences? When I see your films, it made me think a lot about other 3D artists, like Twistedpoly or Jean-Michel Bihorel, but also sculptors like Bruno Walpoth or Aron Demetz. Do you see any similarities between your work and other artists, not necessarily 3D?

I'm very interested in sculpture, and if I had a second life, that's probably where I'd go. Maybe I'll get there one day! Ultimately, 3D is digital sculpture. In painting, I'm going to look at composition and light, but sculpture is about volume and the fact that I can turn around interests me. But I'm in love with all the arts, and that's the problem, really!

I love the splintering of bodies, like in antique sculptures that are missing arms or heads. It’s something you can also find in Francis Bacon’s paintings, the way he explodes the human body. Picasso also does it, or Egon Schiele. I'm really a melting pot of many influences, but not necessarily 3D. Generally speaking, my real inspiration lies elsewhere. But it's true that Twistedpoly fascinates me, in terms of color and composition. It's someone (along with Six N.Five, who also does it very well) who made me accept what I am, which also means bright colors. A few years ago, I wouldn't have dared to mix such flashy colors. I know I would have been apprehensive about how people would have perceived me, even though these are colors I adore! And it also generally touches people more than black and white, let's be honest.

The body and its matter are recurrent themes for you, whether in We Were Young, where it seems inhabited by the horrors of war, or in Reef, Lie or Lost Eden, where it shelters an ecosystem.

The body is my greatest and most beautiful inspiration. If you look at all my work, there are two main themes: man and nature, and it's when they intertwine that things get interesting. I also like the organic side of things: plants, corals, animals... For me, the goal is to create an emotion, and there's no better way to awaken that in the viewer than to show them a reflection of themselves with a human body. There's so much that can be expressed through a look, an expression, a pose, that it fascinates me as a filmmaker, sometimes even more than the story.

In relation to sculpture, your series What will remain of us is conceived as a series of independent paintings. Can you tell us why you chose this form rather than as short movie like your other projects?

It has a lot to do with the explosion of NFTs. From the moment there was a demand for digital works, I thought that maybe there was a possibility for what I do to find its place in homes and galleries. But would I want to see a short film this way? It was an opportunity for me to find a new way of building around my universe, with fewer cuts, looping animation, a more static format, but still with animation within.

On this project, it was only after I'd finished it that I understood its meaning, and that's love, really. What is the trace we're going to leave on this planet? It's the love we pass on to our friends and descendants after we're gone. There's a phrase by Alan Watts that says you'll only continue to exist when people are talking about you, thinking about you. And that's probably why, as artists, we want to leave a trace.

It's also a way of telling ourselves that we'll always exist.

How do you make a living from your art?

I work a lot for studios as well as for my own clients, even if I mainly post my personal projects. Tendril, MediaMonks, Laundry, Elastic, are some of the famous studio I collaborated with. But I'm often bound by NDAs so contractually you can't communicate a lot. Generally you’re also part of a team of other designers that are coming in and out of the project. So the final project is never yours, you’ve just collaborated in some style frames or shots

I also know that you're preparing an exhibition in the near future. Can you talk about it?

I'm very excited about this project because it's going to take place at W1 Curates in London. The exhibition is called Odyssey and will take place in June. I won’t say anything about it for now, but it’s going to be huge!

Generally speaking, I really enjoy exhibiting, and I'd love to do it here in Brussels. I feel we're ten years behind the rest of the world. I've been lucky enough to be able to exhibit in many cities worldwide, but unfortunately never at home yet.

What are your plans for the future?

I'm very lucky to be in this field and do something I really enjoy everyday and I'd just like it to continue, to always have ideas to develop. Sometimes I have the impression that I've done it all, that I've gone through all the subjects that interested me. It's not so much a desire as a fear: that I'll run out of stories to tell, or that I won't be able to tell them. But inspiration comes when you work, no matter the stage you’re in. So even if you doubt about what you’re doing, it’s important not to stop and keep pushing. If it’s not the work you’re busy with, it could potentially be the next one, so keep working, keep your mind open to be filled by inspiration. I truly believe it acts like a muscle you really need to keep training.

Is this what you're alluding to in Pieces? You talk about an inner battle against yourself and the demons that can inhabit you.

The making of Pieces was really a dark time for me, maybe a kind of burn-out because I was working a lot during this period. It was an internal battle I was waging, less a reflection I was sending back to people, a more introspect version of my work. I was asking myself a lot of questions. Do I belong in this business? Is this the right path for me? Haven't I reached the pinnacle of my art? Can I go beyond this ceiling? For most artists, you realize that they die having made their best work not at the beginning of their career, but shortly afterwards, during their maturity period, and then they try to repeat their previous successes. It's a trap for a lot of artists, and it's a fear that runs through me, the idea that I’ve passed the “peak” of my work and that I will only make repetitions of what I’ve done before.

Are you planning for a future without 3D?

I think there will be a time where 3D will be part of my memories, where I’ll have the desire to move on, to conquer new territories: cinema, sculpture, maybe painting, I don't know. I don't see myself in front of a computer at 60, that’s for sure. Rather, I think I will probably be in a garden somewhere, modeling clay, something simple and without technology.  

Thanks to Fabian Aerts for taking the time to answer my questions.

You can follow his work on his website, Instagram or Behance.